are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
