I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
