Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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