Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
