So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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