its not stalking. its research.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
