Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
