Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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