At least make sure they are 18
Why
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
if i died would you start the facebook group?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
