You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
