I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
