Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
