lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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