Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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