Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
