real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
