And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
