I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We had to coat check the pizza.
ttyl tear gas
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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