My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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