I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she told me i tasted like america
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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