Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
