well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
