Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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