Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
