Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
