david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
