I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
