Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
