i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
