Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
