it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
