i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
