don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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