Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
