he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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