I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
