im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
