I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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