She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
