And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
