I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
