garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
