I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
