after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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