Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I need a burrito and a hug.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
