just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
