I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
