Who did Billy Mays play for?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Actions speak louder than pants.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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