"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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