the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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