so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
