I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Randomize
